JP's Reaction to "How to Approach the Opposite Sex at the Beach"

By: JP

Going to the beach has always been one of the things that I can’t help but enjoy.  When you are younger, your parents would take you and you were carefree.  You would build sandcastles and play in the dirty Jersey water!  Ahhh that is when life was so simple.  Then you become a teenager and the beach is no longer about building sandcastles, it is now about lying out and working on your tan with your friends.  Also you would be caught dead now being with your parents! Oh the horror!  This is the age when most girls lay there in your barely there bikini hoping to get noticed by a guy!  They lather on their Hawaiian Tropics tanning oil and look like they are about to get cooked.  Okay I cant say when I was in high school I didn’t want to get picked up by a cute guy on the beach because who am I kidding we all did.  That is why we went.  Now that I am 26 years old it’s a different story.  All the guys who are on the beach are total creepers.  They stand there and make it look like they are playing “football” when half the time they are scooping out what girl they will hit on next.  It is like animal planet when they have lions looking for their prey.  To me I am just too old for that stuff.  I really am on the beach just to get the tan.  Half the time my hair is thrown up in a messy ponytail, I have no make up on, and I really don’t want to be bothered.  The sad thing is you can pick out the girls on the beach that want to be bothered and they are trying really hard to get noticed.  They are the girls who have applied 10 lbs of makeup on before they came, they have done their hair, and they are spraying on the tanning lotion so they are shiny!  I wish I took pictures, last weekend for July 4^th, I made the mistake of going to Seaside Heights.   Well right now they are taping The Jersey Shore so you really had to see some of the girls on the beach.  They were all hoping to be the next “classy” lady that either, Pauly D, Vinnie, or Mike “The Situation” would bring home.  As soon as Pauly and Vinnie walked on to the beach all the girls looking like this RAN over as fast as they could.  These girls were the ones looking to get picked up.  They were primped and ready to go waiting for their five minutes of fame.  So my point to all this rambling is, if you see me on the beach, DON’T hit on me.  I will simply ignore you because I am there for the tan, not to meet creepers.

Signs a girl is at the beach to meet a guy:

·        Is dressed like a tramp

·        Is with her friends and being ANNOYING and loud

·        Keeps staring around to see the people around her

·         Has her hair and makeup done

·        Will talk to ANY guy that walks past her

·        Constantly is taking pictures of herself with her camera or phone.