Spray Away

I have a cat. When he is being a jerk I spray him in the face with a water bottle. He hates it so much that now all I have to do is hold up the bottle and he runs away.

Wouldn’t this be great if we could do this to people? Someone acts like a jerk and all it takes is a spray of water to the face to stop them. A quick squirt of water makes a person shut their mouth or restrains a person from behaving like an animal. Imagine being able to do this to your boss or significant other or sibling or friend or parent or co-worker or the idiot in front of you on the bus who reclines his seat too far back or the person on the subway who smells like hot garbage (the kind of smell in the summer that makes you puke in your mouth) or the drunk guy who hits on you at a bar with some corny pick-up line? I will stop there because I might fall under the last category. 

Basically this goes for anytime you want to shout, “Get the hell away from me”! A spray of water to the face is a perfect solution. It isn’t hurting the other person, yet it satisfies you. It will annoy them instead of them annoying you. Shooting water in someones eyes won’t cause pain, but just enough discomfort to send the message: “You are aggravating me. Go somewhere else. I don’t want to inhale the same air as you right now. Please leave my atmosphere.”   

We should all carry spray bottles around. There would be fewer arguments. I plan on carrying a super soaker with me daily.

We can market this as “Spray Away Your Problems” or “Just Squirt It” or “Shut the Hell Up and Leave Me Alone Before I Give You a Face Full of Water That Will Certainly Irritate Your Eyes For a Few Seconds and Embarrass You in Front of Everyone”.