Mustaches are funny

Every time I shave my face I debate on keeping the mustache. Then I glance in the mirror and realize I look like a total pedophile. I use to always chicken out until one Saturday I decided to keep the stache and wear it out that night. I kept it thin, not really sure why, but I figured it would be funny to see my friend’s reactions. 

Creeper

I pretended like I was serious about keeping the mustache, maybe even turning it into my new look. My friends tried so hard to be nice while I tried hard not to burst out in laughter. They said things like, “It doesn’t look bad.” or “I like it, but I like you better without it” or “It looks good, but you really aren’t thinking of keeping it. Are you?”



My friend Bill's Halloween costume

Of course I didn’t keep it. I live in a neighborhood filled with young boys. Don’t need anyone getting the wrong idea. It would start as a funny joke to me and then I would say something borderline inappropriate to one of the kids and the next thing I know I would have to register as a sex offended just like L.T.   

The looks I got that Saturday night of total disgust and confusion were totally worth it. Sure no girls wanted to talk to me or stand within a 5 foot radius of me. Screw them, it was funny and I would absolutely do it again.

If you happen to be out with me the next time I wear the stache or see a Facebook picture of it that some jackass took, don’t be afraid to tell me the truth. Say, “Mike, it looks like you should have a 4 year olds penis sticking in your mouth.”