Dear Decamp Bus Company, You suck...

Living in New Jersey and working in New York means I have to commute. My options are to drive in, take a train or take a bus. I have been taking a bus for the past three years, mainly because the bus stop is a block from my house. The lovely Decamp Bus Company picks me up every morning and drops my ass off every night.


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Recently, they went on strike (see pic). That was an awesome time. Driving to the Secaucus train station in my 2000 Chevy Malibu, park there illegally (actually had a note on my car from the dentist's office across the street informing me that I am taking up spots from the elderly. Meanwhile they had a huge parking lot. Not like I parked in a handicap spot. Kiss my buns dentist office. Man that still pisses me off.), and sitting in traffic on route 3 everyday coming home.

Even after that mess I still rode the bus. Loyal right? Not really, just lazy.

The driver in the mornings doesn't like me. Straight up avoids acknowledging my existence. Most of the bus drivers hate their lives and make sure they let everyone know about it.

Ms. Crabtree

My morning bus driver, lets call him Carlos, is not a fan of me. Crazy right? Not a fan of me? You must be wondering how I would know that. Every morning he gives the biggest hello to the person in front of me, says nothing to me, and then gives a big hello to the person getting on after me. If I say hello while getting on the bus or thanks while getting off I get no response. Fuck me right.

Still not convinced? What happened this morning will give you all the proof you need... you disbelieving little bitch. The bus pulled into Port Authority at 8:10am this morning. Carlos starts letting people off the bus. I walk off the bus and hear the bus doors close. Then I feel something holding me back. Carlos fucking closes the bus door on my backpack! My backpack is on my back and now it is stuck in the bus door. Yes, I wear a backpack to work. Derrr why do you wear a backpack Mike? Well, I have important things in there for example: my glasses (sun and prescription), an umbrella, deodorant, pens, hair gel, ipod, gum, cologne, airborne, chapstick, shoes, a toothbrush and paste, a calendar, bus schedule, breakfast, lunch, a Pueblo baby, sometimes a change of clothes, a hamster, $4.38 in change, and a picture of a dead Bin Laden. Pretty much everything essential to surviving and avoiding uncomfortable situations. I didn't have anything to help me in the "backpack stuck in suddenly closed bus doors and attached to my back situation". (Note to self: pack scissors). Think it's stupid to carry all that stuff? Felix the Cat doesn't think so.

He carried a lot of crazy shit in that bag.

Instead of releasing the doors and avoiding the possibility of dragging me around Port Authority fucking Carlos decides to start driving. I somehow manage to squeeze and squirm out of the doors with my backpack and limbs intact.


I want Otto from the Simpsons to drive me to work everyday.

Not the most competent guy, but at least he won't drag me around by my backpack. 

Can't wait to see Carlos tomorrow. Doubt I will get any kind of apology. Something like,- "Hey sorry I almost dragged you around by your backpack yesterday. I think your backpack is cool"- would be a nice gesture.

I sit down at my desk today after my near death experience and I receive an email from Decamp...letting me know that the monthly bus fares will be increased by $20.

I think the guy I saw stranded at Port Authority at 1 am one night said it best, "Decamp sucks cock!!" Because everyone on the bus heard his outburst and just shrugged their shoulders and nodded their heads in agreement.