When the going gets tough, just bail.

Wouldn’t it be grand if you could just run away from a bad situation? Here is what life would be like if we lived by the saying, “When the going gets tough, just bail.”

Fiancé complaining a lot? Teach her/him a lesson and call off tomorrow’s wedding.

Are your parents questioning why you are still mooching off them? Screw that! There are plenty of spacious dumpsters and cozy spots under bridges for you to live.

Wife of a few years giving you problems?  End it with her by selling her stuff and using the money for cocaine and hookers. If that’s your thing. Probably would be wiser to invest that money or even treat yourself to a relaxing vacation.

School holding you back? Drop out and spread your wings. You don’t need a degree to bang 20 year olds.

Is your boss giving you shit? Walk in his/her office and quit that bitch! You’re made of money!

Is your Grandmother not getting your 30 year old ass birthday gifts? End it with that cheapskate.

Credit Card Company keeps sending you bills? What are you made of money? Cancel that shit.

Getting bored driving the family to the desired vacation spot year after year? Stop the car, tell everyone to get out and head to Vegas.

Sunday church getting too preachy for you? Tell the priest you don't share his views and

you shouldn't see each other anymore.

Your child won’t stop acting like a jerk? Remind it that there are plenty of spacious dumpsters and cozy spots under bridges to live.

Mom refuses to make you dinner? Sleep with her friend. She'll know to bring the pancakes in the morning. Not just any pancakes, chocolate chip! With a whip cream smiley face!

Half-ass comedian and his jackass friend writing a long winded blog that’s going nowhere? Stop reading it and make sure to message them. Express how repulsed you felt after reading such filth.

By: Mike Cupolo and Tom Hollywood