Family Feud: Dumb People!

One of my favorite game shows of all time is the Family Feud. We all can appreciate the original episodes with the late great Richard Dawson. Good ol' RD always got a little too touchy feely with the female guests. It was always the really pretty female guests getting the kiss on the lips and tongue in the ear. Made me so jealous. The show has gone through a bunch of hosts since and is surprisngly still on the air.

My favorite part of the show is seeing how people react under the pressure of a game show and the nonsense they blurt out of their mouth. If you don't know the rules read this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_Feud. If you haven't seen it then you can just go straight to hell. Kidding, but not really.

People can really embarrass themselves with stupid answers. I mean it is a TV show. Check out the dummies in this video. They had to name a country that started with the letter 'A'. Yikes.

The one chick actually says Asia. She was first for her team too. The best strategy for the Feud is to put the smart people in your family first so they get the most opportunities to answer. Watch an episode and see how dumb the last person on each team is. I'd rather have a block of wood on my team. Scary that she is the "smartest" in her family.

Then the other dude must have just finished smoking or slamming his head into a wall for 3 hours. "Derrrr its a place I want to go.... derrrrrr....uhhhhh.... i definitly want to go there...errrr uhhh... Amsterdam that's it"!

WOW DUDE! Complete morons.

Amsterdam guy is almost as dumb as....

Three things to take away from this:

1. Choose your family wisely before you go on the Family Feud. You can deal with a stupid family member, can you deal with one that embarasses you on national TV and costs you money and a chance to win the Feud? I can't. Dad if you are reading this, sorry you won't be coming on the Feud with me

2. If you can't read, write, tie your shoes, spell your name, feed yourself, use a toliet, count to 10, recit the ABC's, breathe, or if you don't have a pulse please do not go on any game shows or interact with anyone. You might be a zombie or a Kardashian.

3. Family Guy and Richard Dawson are awesome.

Soccer player hospitalized after a teammate shoves a pool stick up his...

Ever moon someone for a laugh? Ever joke around with a friend and tell them you going to shove (insert noun) up their bum without any real intention? How do both of these questions relate? Read this article http://jockpost.com/soccer-player-hospitalized-teammate-shoves-pool-stick/ then come back and read below.

Did you read the article yet?

Crazy right?

I keep adjusting my seat everytime I think about it.

Can you imagine anyone in their right mind getting so mad about getting mooned that they actually take a pool stick and... ya know. Well, I can. Steven Segal.

The Bachelor meets Charlie Sheen

This is an article I wrote for the WPLJ website. It was too edgy for the site. I forgot about it and just found it and thought it would be a funny post. Enjoy...

The other day I was trying to think of something to write for the website so I checked out some of the other blogs and articles on the website and realized as a 25 year old man I don’t watch shows like The Bachelor or follow the self destruction of Charlie Sheen. Well, maybe I am exaggerating a little; I’m definitely not a man. I mean I still live at home with my parents, sleep in a twin bed and still watch cartoons. Real men don’t live at home with their parents and watch cartoons in while lying in a twin bed. They just don’t.

Anyway my point is I want to write about something that is relevant to PLJ listeners and something that will entertain me while writing about it.

What if… we combined The Bachelor and the Charlie Sheen debacle into a brand new reality show? A working title could be something like, “The Bachelor: Charlie Sheen Edition”. This show would be perfect for people who are already fans of The Bachelor and for the people out there who couldn’t care less who gets the final rose. I’m so tired of hearing about some smug dude who gets to be surrounded by a dozen pretty ladies and has to make such a “tough choice” of which beautiful young woman is his “soul mate”. By tired I mean full of envy and jealous rage. Totally wish I could be on The Bachelor, but not just any old version of The Bachelor. I volunteer to be the first bachelor on the “Charlie Sheen Edition” of the show.

My version of the show would be can’t miss TV. Every new bachelor would get to live one night in the life of Charlie Sheen. I say one night because each season would only last one episode, because we all know its going to end with the bachelor getting arrested. 

The show would start with a dozen of the country’s classist hookers and porn stars. The bachelor and the lovely contestants would be locked in a Malibu house filled with booze and drugs. Instead of a rose the bachelor gives each girl a shot of the alcohol of their choosing. Mayhem will surely ensue. The more I think about the details of the show, it might have to be a Pay-Per-View event. This would be the most wild, insane, crazy, wake up in the morning and thinking to yourself, “Whoa, what the hell happened” kind of night.

On second thought I don’t want to volunteer to be the first bachelor on “The Bachelor: Charlie Sheen Edition.” It is probably easier to keep going to bars and clubs and getting shot down by girls that way. At least I won’t get arrested. I’m going to stick with watching quality shows like Spongebob Square Pants, but I ask you America, why not dedicate The Bachelor to America’s most infamous bachelor of all?